Caffeine & You

One aspect of my job involves "meeting days". I book a bunch of meetings in Toronto, and then head in to the city for a day, have the meetings, and then usually stay for the weekend at my parents' house. It's always really nice to get out of the office, be in Toronto where you see more than 1 person when you're out walking, and keep things fresh! I really like it!

Usually these meetings are over coffee -- we meet at a Starbucks and chat about whatever it is we're chatting about. Loves it! BUT... if I'm meeting 5 different people, that's 5 different coffees. That's a lot of coffee! Combine that with the normal nerves of having business meetings, and you've got me performing on a more jittery level than I should be. There's no need for that!

So... something I've learned? Order tea on occasion.

Trust Thy Boss

As always, there are exceptions. You might have a total a**hole of a boss, and so ignore what I'm saying. However, I'm an optimist (or you might call me naïve) and I like to think that most people have good intentions. Anyway, these statements are leading to the point of this post, which is to "Trust Thy Boss".

So many times over the past 4 months, I've thought to myself... "Why aren't I getting more projects?" "Why don't they want me to put my knowledge and experience to use?" "I'm so bored... why aren't I doing more?" I've done my best to take initiative here and there, but there's only so much you can do sometimes. If you're not being given stuff to work on then your mind wanders... your hand wanders to the mouse... you type in www.facebook.com... and the rest is history.

But now I've just about hit the 5 month mark and things have changed completely. The other day I was working on about 3 things at once and getting extremely overwhelmed by the emails that kept coming into my inbox. Overwhelmed & stressed can be bad things to feel, but I can now say with certainty that after a slow start into my big girl job, being busy is ALWAYS better than being bored. I'll take stressed over twiddling my thumbs any day.

Anyway, the reason this has to do with trusting my boss is that now I can only think that maybe he was easing me into things; letting me get oriented, get to know my colleagues, etc. If I was handed 10 projects on day 1, wouldn't I be far too overwhelmed in addition to feeling nervous and new? However, as it was, right before this rush of work came upon me, I was finally feeling like part of the team. I understand the rhythms and schedules and dynamics of the office, so now that I've got lots to do, I know who to go to with questions, etc. It wouldn't have made sense for me to have tonnes of projects before, but now... it does!

So I'm glad I stuck it out. My boss definitely delivered on this one.

AGH!

I've got little bumps on my teeth as if each tooth has a serrated edge. My dental hygienist said that it is rare to see those bumps on adults' teeth because post adults grind their teeth and as a result the bumps grind down to nothing. My conclusion from that was that I manage my stress well.

However... sometimes, like right now, I feel quite stressed and overwhelmed by my workload. This happened a lot while I was a student at WLU, and it happens occasionally now in the working world. I got a lot thrown on my plate today and I'm feeling a bit snowed under. Incidentally, I've never experienced a November this warm and precipitation-less.

I needed to blog about this to take a minute to get a few deep breaths in and also to still my racing heart. One of the projects I just realized was in my portfolio may be overdue and so I'm freaking out a bit. But - I will figure it out. I will break the project down into manageable tasks and it'll get done.

Agh.

Getting to know all about you

Some people are surprised to find this out, but I am the definition of an introvert. This doesn't mean I'm anti-social or unable to carry a good conversation, it just means I don't really thrive off of social situations. I can hold my own at a dinner party, but after the party's over, I need some serious alone time to recharge my batteries. Another aspect of being an introvert is that I'm very strategic, you might say, about how I share personal information. I don't just blurt out things about myself and often take a lot of time before I feel comfortable enough with someone to tell them things about myself... things aside from the daily minutia, of course.

A new work place is a great example of this. I have now reached my 4-month anniversary of working here and only yesterday did I tell my co-workers that I have a girlfriend. I have been spending 40 hours / week with these people, chatting and working, and yet I didn't share with them until now that I have a girlfriend and, of course, that I'm gay. Some people would've shared this information months ago, but not me... for whatever reason I just had to wait for a specific time.

What I'm learning about the workplace though is that it's best to take your time. Just as there's no rush to have that condo in downtown TO, there's no rush for your co-workers to know every detail about your life... unless you want them to. What I mean is, no one is going to look back and say, "Why did you wait this long to tell us about yourself?" They're going to say, "It's a pleasure to know you now". Don't feel any pressure to put on some kind of persona just for the sake of it. Just be yourself and let it all happen. When you feel comfortable, it just feels so good to get to know people.

Convocation

I never went to my high school graduation. I probably would've, but I had already started working at a camp for the summer, so I just couldn't. The truth is that I don't normally care about occasions like that, but when my university convocation was about to occur, I figured it was time that I let myself enjoy some pomp & circumstance... plus, I thought my parents might enjoy seeing the end result of my 5+ years at uni.

Here's what I was shocked by: how proud I felt. I was practically beaming the entire time - especially seeing my parents and my best friends in the crowd.

You sometimes feel like university is just going through the motions until you're done... but it wasn't an easy ride, was it? It was hard work, stress, anxiety, and sometimes working your body and brain past their limits. Alternatively it was fun, and my mind was expanded to embrace new ideas, concepts, and issues, and my whole self was challenged to learn and grow and change...

University was an experience and I'm so glad I got to celebrate the official end of one phase of my life now that I'm in the next one. I deserved a little pomp & circumstance, right?

Comfort & confidence

If you've ever worked at the same place for more than a year, you understand that feeling of comfort and confidence in your work environment. You can have that feeling much earlier on, but once you hit the year mark, you've likely really found your groove. If you keep going and hit the 2- and 3-year marks (and maybe even longer than that), then the feeling just grows.

I took that feeling for granted at my last job, I think, but I'm pining for it now. I know it comes with time, but it's weird to be second-guessing myself after having had a spot so comfortable at my last job that I might as well have had an ass-groove in my desk chair (I might've, actually).

It's little things... knowing where office supplies are kept, saying hi to colleagues (and not knowing their names yet), becoming comfortable just popping into my boss' office to ask him for something. I got used to communicating in a certain way in my last job... for example, email was always a good way of reminding someone of something or arranging a time to meet. At my new job I realize that email isn't always the best way - my boss prefers that I ask him in person. It's all an adjustment, and after 3.5 months here I've still got lots to learn...

BUT, if I look back at day 1, week 1, month 1... I realize I've made huge progress since then, and that I'll continue to all the time. I already feel a bit of an ass-groove developing, and it's only going to get more comfy from here!

No rush

It is most likely that when you graduate you'll move somewhere. You very well may stay in Kitchener/Waterloo, which is a fantastic option, but I've seen that the trend is to move somewhere else. You're also most likely to move somewhere that is already familiar to you, say your hometown, or Toronto, which is familiar to everyone. It is also likely that you will know someone in the city/town that you're moving to. These are not definite things, but they are likely things.

I did an unlikely thing. I moved to a small town of 16,500 where I didn't know a single soul to take a job that I knew was worth taking a risk for. I haven't once regretted this decision, but I won't say that things haven't been hard... because they have. They've been pretty tough at times.

My life is pretty solitary. Luckily, I'm introverted and so that doesn't bother me much. Essentially, I get up in the morning, get ready, go to work, come home, relax-watch TV-go on the computer-eat-chill-read, and then go to bed. That's my life most days. It sounds boring, and sometimes it is, but that's how it is.

I've been working at my new job and living in my new town for 3 months now. For the first month I loved it; everything was novel and exciting and it was great. For the second and third months, it started to dawn on me that 2 years here (the length of my contract) is a long time. Will I make friends? Will I forge a social life? Will I want to move and then commute? Will I survive?

And then it occurred to me (with some guidance from my parents) that having amazing friends and family (even if they're in another city) and an incredible job and great apartment (even if they're in a boring town) is more than a lot of people can say. So what if my Monday-Thursday life is sometimes boring??? I can go home to T.O. every weekend to make up for it. More than that though, I'm young! I've got my whole life to socialize, but what about the importance of starting my career off right? It's better to pay my dues now (in terms of a less than ideal living situation) and wait until my next job to live in a more desirable city. Also, don't get me wrong, the place I live in isn't terrible... it's just different.

Anyway, the point is that after university, you don't have to zoom straight into what you hope your adult life will be like. You're still young. There's no rush! Do things now that get you on the perfect path for you and your ideal adult life will happen soon enough!

God, I sound preachy. You know that this entry is in part super therapeutic as I rationalize away my boredom... As always, take from it what you will!


**NOTE: While in Waterloo on Homecoming weekend, I did prove to myself that I could still party. However, within 2 days after the weekend I was sick as a dog -- sneezing, coughing, sniffling, runny nose, etc., etc. That said, correlation does not always equal causation. That's what I keep telling myself...