Accepting invitations

I'm certain I've talked about this before, but I'll say it again: I'm an introvert.  This wouldn't surprise my closest friends, but it might surprise my acquaintances, primarily if for them -- extrovert = outgoing & introvert = recluse.  This is not the way I define introversion vs. extroversion.  For me, the simplest definition is this:

1. An introvert's energy is drained by social situations (a.k.a. introverts need to recuperate after a party).
2. An extrovert's energy is replenished by social situations (a.k.a. extroverts are energized by a party).

So being an introvert does not mean I'm awkward in social situations, or that I have social anxiety, or that I can mingle at a cocktail party.  All it means - to me - is that I need to amp myself up for a social gathering and then wind myself down after one.  If I have a free evening, I'll likely have a relaxed night alone or with a few close friends... that's where I get my energy.

Anyway, because social gatherings drain me, when I get invitations to them, I usually lean towards "no".  For example, yesterday I was hosting a work event in a different city, and one of the women who was attending invited me to stop by her house before the event.  My instinct was "no, I'll just chill at a Starbucks alone before the event," but then I thought, I know this woman quite well.  She is always very kind to me, and I enjoy her company, and she has been so kind to invite me to her home.  It maybe wouldn't be rude to decline, but it would be the right thing to do to accept, so... I will!!!

And I did, and it was a really lovely visit.  We had a cup of tea and chatted, and I'm glad I did it.

Learning to do the right thing, get out of your comfort zone, etc.... it seems to all be part of growing up.  I'm learning!

A message to '05 grads.

I went for a nice walk and a cup of coffee with an old friend yesterday.  We haven't seen one another much over the past... hmm... probably 5 years.  We worked at camp together back in the day, but have connected a few times lately and as a result set up a coffee date.  The weather was gorgeous, and it was a wonderful outing.

We both graduated from high school in 2005, meaning we've been out for over 6 years now, both with an undergraduate degree under our belts.  Our discussion was a lot about what's happening for us now and what's next?  

We talked a lot about living with expiry dates.  By that I mean moving somewhere or doing something with a particular end date.  For example, I signed a contract for my current job, committing to 2 years with the organization.  I moved here knowing that it would only be for 2 years, unless plans changed for some reason, but I had some sense of when I'd be "free to go", so to speak.  Both of us agreed that this is a nice position to be in, because it means during the tough times that there's a "light at the end of the tunnel", and also that while you're doing one thing, you can simultaneously dream about what's next and have some sense of when that might happen.

We also talked about our lives not being what we expected.  We both have some parts of our life that we were thrilled with, and other parts that we didn't really imagine having.  I wouldn't go so far as to say that I feel alone in my current way of life, but I guess I didn't realize that the way I feel about my life is the way most people my age feel.  My big thing is that I've got a great job and a great life, but the town where I'm living doesn't quite meet my needs.  But then my friend and I also discussed that many of our friends who live in Toronto are working at jobs they don't really like or don't get paid much for or aren't relevant to what they really want to get into, etc., etc.  Maybe the moral of the story for us '05 high school grads is that we can't have it all... yet.  We've gotta decide what our priorities are - is it great work experience?  Is it a great place to live?  Because right now in life we maybe can't afford to balance all of our priorities - both financially, and in other ways.  Maybe we don't have enough experience yet to get our dream job, maybe we can't afford rent in a big city unless we're getting tips as a bartender/server.  It could be a lot of different factors, but the bottom line is that we're 24 - we don't need to have it all; we just need to be patient.

So that's the post!  It's nice to gain some perspective and realize that you're not alone.  I should remember to check in with fellow '05 grads 5 years from now and see where we're at.

Hanging Pictures

I don't know if all you other recent university grads are like me, but one thing I've noticed about no longer being a student and/or feeling more like an adult is that I have these funny mini-revelations scattered throughout the week.

Case in point - I took my lunch hour today to do some errands.  On my way to errand #1, I thought, "Wait, what?!  I'm taking my lunch hours to do errands and my first errand is to go to the hardware store to buy some picture hangers to hang a new piece of art in my apartment?!?! ... ... ... What?!?!?"

I don't know about you, but this happens to me all the time!  I know it's just a simple errand, but sometimes these things really smack me in the face.  I mean, it's so domestic, and so... every day.  I almost hesitate and think, "Can I actually do this?"  "Isn't my dad supposed to come up some weekend and hang my pictures for me?"

But, if there's anything I've learned from these past 15 months in small town, Ontario, it's that I am resourceful.  I can make do with what I've got, I can handle my life completely, and I can do whatever it is I need to do.

So... from picture hanging to learning to drive to booking flights to Europe to servicing my car, I can and must do it, and I will, and every time it'll be a smack in the face until... until it isn't anymore.

I wrote a post last year in October entitled "23 is not old", which described my delight at finding that despite what I began to think after 4 months in the working world, I was decidedly not old.  I realized this after Laurier's Homecoming Weekend 2010 when I partied my face off student-style.  I decided to enjoy Homecoming in the student way, as many of my friends were still students at that time.  

I went back to Laurier for Homecoming Weekend 2011 this year, but decided this time to enjoy Homecoming in the alumni way.  I spent all of the Saturday in Waterloo and attended the WLUAA AGM in the morning, enjoyed a pancake breakfast in the quad/amphitheatre, went to a concert and luncheon hosted by the Faculty of Music, caught a bit of the football game, and then went to the "100 Alumni of Achievement" event at Bingeman's in the evening.  I enjoyed every moment of the day, saw some friends and former colleagues, reminisced (a little too early for that, perhaps, but who cares?!), and showed my purple & gold pride.  Then I drove back home.

Did I have some big "23 is not old"-like revelation?  Nope, I just enjoyed myself and the new experiences I can enjoy as an alumna.  It was a great day!

~~~

In other news, I am feeling like a grown-up more these days.  I still party when I can, but with age comes more responsibility and independence, and sometimes I look at my schedule/to do list for the day and I think, "when did I grow up?"  For example, tomorrow I've got to book my flight for an upcoming trip to France and Spain, and then I need to take my car in for servicing.  These plans are so different from the ones I had back in early 2010, and I feel the weight of the responsibilities, but then again, I also feel the joys.  I mean, I own a car.  I'm going on a trip to Europe.  It feels weird and it feels different, but you can be sure that I'm not complaining.

Beloved Lists!!!

I just had a really successful and satisfying time & stress-management moment and therefore I wanted to share.  I don't mean for this to be a career blog... or at least I never meant for it to be, but if that's sort of how it's evolved then that's okay with me.  The main mission though will continue to be to discuss what my life has been like since I graduated; what I miss, what I don't, what I'm doing, what I'm learning, what I've carried on with me since graduation, etc.

But the truth is that most of my life is my career right now.  I'm in a small town with not a lot going on aside from 9-5 Monday-Friday.  I'm okay with that.  If I carry this blog on with me for a while, then maybe we'll see how things change when I'm (inevitably) back in a big(ger) city.

Anyway, without further ado...

Another big event coming up for me - a week from today.  This has involved months of planning, countless emails, a whole new vocabulary, lots of details... you get the picture.  As per usual I've gotten caught among all the details and I'm trying to climb out of it all.  Once again, as per usual, I've made list upon list of things to do, but even those lists - my beloved lists!!! - are contributing to the problem somehow because there's just SO MUCH TO DO!!!

I couldn't take it anymore.  I had to intervene.

So I created a new list.  I condensed the other lists and then made a column of when these things needed to be done.  They were either today, this week, or next week.  Lo and behold I realized that there were only SEVEN things I had to do today.  Praise the Lord!!!  I can absolutely get those 7 things done today, and I might actually find that I have time (considering it's 10:30am) to do more tasks, thereby decreasing what's left to do tomorrow and for the rest of the week.

#satisfying #efficient #destressed

Volunteering

It's been over a month since I last posted here. My 1-year anniversary at my workplace has come and gone and I had plans for a grand 1-year retrospective entry, but never got it together. Rather than procrastinating my next entry by failing at putting that entry together, I thought I'd just post now that I have something relevant on my mind. Maybe I'll do an 18-month retrospective later on instead. No matter, here's the entry.....

I've lived in a small town for over a year now. Actually 13 months and 1 day (not that I'm counting). I can't remember if I've named the town before, so I'll just leave it nameless. Anyway, this town doesn't offer a lot to me aside from a fantastic workplace. I love what I do, so I do it 40 hours out of every week, and then I spend weeknights willing away the time before bed, and weekends in Toronto, enjoying what a metropolis has to offer - friends, action, things to do.

However, all work and no fun (weekends excluded) make me a dull girl. More than that, after 13 months, it's really taken its toll. It's hard to see the joy in life when you go from 8 hours at work to 8 hours at home to 8 hours of sleep - rinse, repeat. It sounds pretty depressing, right? And I'm not depressed! I'm a positive, optimistic person, but that is deteriorating with this small town life. And it's not the small town's fault - it's mine!

Back at Laurier (this is Life After WLU after all), activity was easy to find. You could find it with your friends (who were everywhere), in your student house/apartment, in the pubs and bars, and most definitely on campus. There were dozens of opportunities to do stuff - whether it was being holed up in the library "studying" while actually catching up on mtv.ca, hanging out in the Terrace, working at your on-campus student job, or - my favourite pastime - volunteering. I can't remember what the exact statistic is, but isn't it true that Laurier has one of the highest student involvement rates out of Canada's universities? And isn't Laurier one of the only universities that actually interviews for its volunteer positions because they are in such high demand? I held 5+ volunteer positions while at WLU. In fact, I was doing volunteer work more than I was in class, I'm pretty sure. I loved it!!! It wasn't just to pad my resume, it was my social life and where I learned and experienced all sorts of new stuff.

I lived, worked, ate, hung out, volunteered, and went to class all on one city block. Now that I've transported to another city town, I realize that the plethora of easy-access volunteer opportunities doesn't exist here. They don't just jump out at you. It's not that they're not there, but you have to look. I took that for granted while at Laurier, but that doesn't mean that it's not worth looking for now that I'm here.

So - did I waste 13 months? Maybe in some ways, but not entirely. Plus, I can't look back and get frustrated with myself over what I haven't done. What I can do is look forward and see what I can do now. So - I'm going to volunteer! I've found my first opportunity and I'm dropping my application off today. I'll keep you posted!

MHD

It's been a while since I last checked in to this blog... over a month and a half, to be exact. It's been a busy 1.5 months though, so I'm glad I was focused on my work. Now, though, the summer is here and things have died down for a bit. In my field - at this institution, at least - summer is a time for catch up, cleaning, planning, and generally ramping up for the next "year" (September-June). However, before I could get planning and ramping and amping myself up, I needed a little downtime. I organized and cleaned, I did a few personal things, I got to some things I'd put off, and then..... I got bored..... and restless..... and annoyed that I had nothing to do..... and then I started to feel under the weather and sad and depressed.....

So you know what I did??? Yesterday I took a day off. It was a sick day because I wasn't feeling too well, but it was also a mental health day. We need those. Our mental health is as important as our physical health, but too easily and too often it gets neglected. If you need a day off for the sake of your mental and/or physical health and it's an okay week to do so (a.k.a. you'll be less stressed and not more stressed by a day off), then go and do it!

Thanks to my MHD, today I feel rested, happy, energetic, and ready to get back to work full-force. Today I've been productive, gotten some projects done, organized my office and inbox, and generally have contributed to my workplace. Now if that wasn't worth taking a day off, then what is?